I’ve been having a debate with a YouTuber through my message section, and it ended this morning, so I thought I’d share. This is how it started.
Checking my messages, I open one from kaldunvampireprince with the subject ‘Twilight’.
Where’s your book Alex? Oh yeah you havent written one because u’re a talentless c*nt/ Get off the jealousy car and leave Meyer alone. Millions like her work so go eat some glass.
And you cant sing AT ALL!! Go kill urself.
Brilliant.
(Just to clarify for those that don’t know – I film myself reading chapters of Twilight and vocalising my thoughts spontaneously. Here’s the first chapter:)
Lots of fantastic things here. First of all, I love that I’m lured in with a question. Instead of just “you suck” it’s “oh, hey, Alex, how’s the album coming along? That’s right, IT’S SHIT AND YOU SHOULD DIE”. Bit of a leap.
It’s great that, although he’s passionate enough to use the words ‘talentless cunt’, he still gave himself a cheeky asterisk, so that he wouldn’t offend me; but then powered on through with ‘go kill urself’. And that comes AFTER the glass eating. What a genius.
And I also like “you can’t sing. AT ALL!!” Like if he hadn’t added that I’d have gone away thinking, “well, I can sing, a bit.”
“You can’t sing!”
Well, I’d argue that -
“AT ALL!”
(Bit of background on kaldunvampireprince – he only has one subscriber. The name of his subscriber is KoolGuy532. That’s cool with a ‘k’, people.)
My reply:
“She can’t write worth a damn. She’s not very good.” – Stephen King on the Twilight series. An opinion from someone who HAS written a book, and knows better than me what’s good and what isn’t.
You’re right, millions of people like her work. Millions of people are subscribed to Fred, too. Millions of people can sometimes be very stupid.
Off to kill myself now. I’M HUNGRY FOR SOME GLASS.
I thought that was fine, acknowledging that I don’t know everything about writing but it’s not just me who has this opinion – but apparently this user’s hatred for me runs deeper than this.
You’re not Stephen King. If he wants to make a video slagging her off he’s entitled to. You are not you seem to be trying to get some free publicity from her success. Why dont u focus on creating something worthwhile yourself instead of denigrating her hard work? How do you think she would feel if she saw ur videos? How would u feel if someone created a video slagging off ur music? You need a reality check mate. Glass is too good for you. You need to eat some humble pie and apologise to Meyer. She’s not asking you to read her books so what is your problem?
“Glass is too good for you to eat! You know what you should eat? HUMBLE PIE! RAWWWWR”
“Humble pie” is a pretty shit phrase to use, but nothing will beat “get off the jealousy car”.
I was a bit annoyed that he seemed to think I’m not allowed to express opinions about books because I’m not Stephen King, so I replied with:
Look, everyone has their critics. I’m sure Stephanie Meyer is a big girl who can handle criticism. She’s got enough of it, after all.
I don’t agree with the notion that I’m not allowed to attack her because I haven’t written a book of my own – that’s mental. So only musicians are allowed to express opinions about what music they like or dislike?
I don’t mind if people make videos slagging off my music, because my music isn’t objectively badly written. It just might not be to your taste. Twilight, as a series, is poorly written. That’s my problem.
And at the end of the day, I’m just having fun, people are entertained, so that’s all there is to it.
I dunno – I probably shouldn’t even be writing this blog entry, because I’m not Chad Hurley and am therefore not entitled to analyse YouTube messages. THAT’S THE WORLD WE LIVE IN.
I’m trying to wrap it up with ‘well really, this doesn’t matter that much, so just let it go’, BUT NO. This vampire prince continues to ignore my points and restate his own bollocks ones.
Who are you to judge that it’s badly written? What qualifies u? Do u have a Masters or PHD in English Literature? Just because you’re jealous of her success stop taking your frustration out on her. You write 5 novels and then you can slag her off. Until then u r entitled to say I dont like these books but dont judge her writing and stop trying to get some free publicity from her success because that makes you one gigantic two faced hypocrite. No one knows you except for Twilight. Wow the irony. And I am sending your links to Meyer’s publishers and their legal teams. That should be fun.
What?
I’m not just a hypocrite (what?) I’m a TWO-FACED HYPOCRITE! Fucking hell, sometimes I think language should only be inherited by those that are worthy.
No-one knows me except for Twilight – what?! What about my mum? She didn’t just return from seeing New Moon, walk into the house and say “OH FUCK I HAVE A SON!”
Okay, you completely ignored my point. What I said was – who says that I can only judge books if I’ve written books myself? It’s not a rule in life that only musicians are allowed to tell people their opinions about the music they do and don’t like. When I read a book, I don’t say “I don’t know if it’s good or not, because I haven’t written a book”. People have opinions, and this is mine.
Secondly, I’m not jealous of her success. I laughed when I read that, actually. She’s done well for herself, and I’m happy for her. I just wish she’d done something better.
Thirdly, I’m not trying to get ‘free publicity from her success’ – and even if I was, that wouldn’t make me a hypocrite. A hypocrite is someone who says ‘don’t do this’ and then does it themselves. I’ve never said ‘don’t try to get free publicity from people’s success’. But either way, that’s not what I’m doing.
Finally, ‘no one knows you except for Twilight’ isn’t true, because I’ve been on YouTube for three years and had seventy thousand people watching me before I started that series.
Any other points you’d like to ignore?
As you can see, I’m getting a bit bitter.
So is he.
Don’t patronise me…
1. You are vindictively attacking Meyer on youtube and disecting her books for their writing…not for how they make u feel but for their technical quality. You are not qualified to do that.
2. Yes you are. Why else would you waste your time making so many videos slagging her off? Better? 40 million copies and growing says actually what she’s done is pretty spot on. You aren’t her target market so who are you to judge the quality of her work? You don’t like it that’s fine. But dont go through it page by page critiqueing her work as though you could have done something better.
3. Yes you are a hypocrite. You are attacking her work knowing it will get you some free publicity, you are in essence riding on the wave of her success and therefore biting the very hand that feeds you.
4. 70,000 hits compared to the 250,000+ you got for Twilight? I’d say more people know you now than before Twilight.
Let me summarise u: u r a vindictive shallow individual with no moral compass and questionable musical talent. And really I dont think Meyer gives a shit what u say whereas u r obviously extremely affected by what she has to say. That has to hurt. Ha ha.
Numerical points! And a handy summary at the end! And the brilliant starter: “don’t patronise me”. Learn how to carry out a debate then!
He’s just so sure of himself that it doesn’t matter what I say. “You’re jealous of her!” – “well, no, I’m happy for her and her success, but I just think if something deserves to be that successful, it should be of a higher calibre than it is.” – “NO YOU’RE WRONG YOU’RE JEALOUS OF HER!” Fantastic. We’re now at the point where he might as well be typing ’so nur nur nur’ at the end of his messages.
70,000 hits compared to the 250,000 I got from Twilight? Shit you’re right, I can’t argue with maths. You know my YouTube stats better than me! OH WAIT. You’re obviously completely wrong.
And “Let me summarise u” – this bit is great. I’m vindictive and shallow. I have no moral compass – ?! – the questionable musical talent bit is fair, that’s his opinion, but then he does an about-face. “Meyer doesn’t give a shit what you say!” – I know she doesn’t. But you were the one saying “how would she feel if she saw these videos?” and it was me saying “I’m sure she’s a grown up who won’t care”.
I also noticed he’s started leaving comments on my videos. LOADS of them. All saying roughly the same thing.
“u r an evil talentless vindictive jealous bastad!”
“u brainless twat”
“Alex u r a vindictive evil talentless twat”
EVIL?! He called me EVIL?!?
“stop fucking messaging me I dont care what you have to say!”
He left this as a comment. Wanker.
“Meyer has 40 million books sold compared to your 0 albums…that says it all”
I’ve sold well over 3000 copies of my albums, just so we’re clear on that. No, it’s not 40 million, but it doesn’t change that he’s wrong. It doesn’t say it all, unless the ‘all’ is ‘you’re objectively a cunt’. (ooh no asterisk, I MEAN BUSINESS)
So then I sobbed on to my Mac because Stephanie Meyer doesn’t care about my opinion, and after I cleared away the tears I wrote the following:
I’m patronising you because you are ignoring my points. You’ve done it again here. I’m getting sick of saying the same things over and over.
I’m not a hypocrite. Hypocrisy is defined as “the act of persistently pretending to hold beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually hold.” So if I told people not to smoke, but I did smoke myself, I’d be a hypocrite. If I secretly loved Twilight, but told people I hated it and that it was bad, I’d be a hypocrite. I’m not doing that. Yes, there is a certain irony that the series has got me more attention, but it’s not hypocrisy, so let’s stop making that point.
Second, I didn’t say I had 70,000 ‘hits’ before I did the Twilight books. You can look at the view counts on my old videos to see that’s obviously not true. I had 70,000 ‘people watching me’ before Twilight, meaning subscribers; in terms of views, I had nearly ten million. Twilight has given me another million. So it’s made me 10% more successful. So we’re two for two; I’m not a hypocrite, and people would care about my videos if I wasn’t doing this.
Next: I can’t believe I’m countering this point for the third time, cos you’re just not listening to my rebuttals, but you don’t need to be ‘qualified’ to dissect anything on its technical quality. You can just use your brain and make observations. That’s what makes free speech so fucking wonderful. If you don’t like it, you can feel free to start a ‘kaldunvampireprince loves Twilight’ series.
Last: forty million copies does NOT make her books good!! I can’t believe that you would honestly think the only barometer for success is the number of sales a thing makes. What forty million sales means is that she’s done something that connects with people, but it doesn’t mean she’s done anything with any kind of skill at all.
“But dont go through it page by page critiqueing her work as though you could have done something better.” – I’VE COUNTERED THIS POINT sfghabggs. Blimey, what’s the point of this debate if you’re just not going to listen to anything I say? I’m listening to what you say and I’m countering it and then you just paraphrase yourself over and over again. Imagine this conversation that happens in your idea of the world but not in the real one:
Me: “What did you think of the Lady Gaga CD?”
You: “I don’t know.”
Me: “What do you mean you don’t know?”
You: “I can’t do anything better, so I don’t have the right to critique it.”
Stupid, isn’t it?
You’re completely right in saying that Meyer doesn’t give a shit what I say. That’s why I didn’t care when you said you were going to tell her lawyers and her publishers about this. I’m glad you’re learning. And no, I’m not affected by what she says. I’ll finish the same way I finished last time, since this argument will be caught in a time loop forever, apparently; I’m just trying to entertain people and have some fun, so there’s no harm.
Are we done yet?
Unfortunately I’ve let my temperament get the better of me and I think that weakens my points a little bit, but ultimately I’m still right. I haven’t spent any time debating the Twilight books with this guy – it’s been all about my own feelings and motives, which I obviously know better than he does.
Then I noticed that he was just having a go at anybody in my comments who said anything nice about me, cycling his three comment words ‘talentless’, ‘vindictive’ and ‘twat’. So I decided to end this dance.
hi! :)
I noticed that you’re being very rude to my subscribers so I’m gonna go ahead and block you. Hopefully that way you can calm down and let go and move on with your life.
Bye!
Fin.
Feel free to send this to people who you think might like it xD
My EP about videogames, 117% Complete, comes out on iTunes tomorrow! <3
x


